Tuesday, October 8, 2013

i completed a 3-day smoothie cleanse

 and this is my review of the whoooole ordeal. I realize that smoothie cleanses are the weird step-sister to juice cleanses, but smoothies are way more up my alley. They're more hefty, they don't strain out all the magic-for-you fiber, and you get all sorts of food groups in a day so that I never felt like I wasn't getting any essential nutrients (just essential food. More on that below).

Some facts: I used Dr. Ox's detox plan, because you know, he's the guru. It jived with me because there are actual food products in the dang things, and there were enough calories to keep me going throughout the day. I also completed this with 2 other friends, which was awesome because we got to complain to eachother about how hangry we were. Misery loves company, right?

I went to 2 different grocery stores to get the best deal on this truckload of produce, and my grand total per day was about $18.05. PRICEY. But put a price tag on clean innards and I guess that's what you get?

On day 1 I felt ready to tackle these smooths to the ground. I went grocery shopping the day before and got all my goodies, which invigorated me in it's own way. I love starting something new, and I really love challenging myself. Plus, this new, short-term diet of mine called for a bath - now there's something the Atkins diet was missing. Oh yeah, and carbs.

I can honestly say that every smoothie was good. They all had their own unique flavor, which was nice. I expected the green one to be really awful, but it wasn't thanks to the coconut oil and pineapple. My friend was even ballsy enough to say it tasted like a vegetable pina colada.

However, my ambition was short-lived once bedtime rolled around the first night. I was huuungry. And that's when I really started to hate this thing. Sure, I had a headache for a bit and would give my left eyeball for a cup of joe, but I expected that. I guess I had heard from so many people that juice cleanses don't really make you hungry, and I think that's BS because it just felt like I was letting my stomach talk for 2 days straight.

I went to bed on the second night telling my husband that I had to put everything in perspective and that I'm only experiencing something most of the world experiences on a regular basis. Which not only didn't help the situation at all, but made me feel really terrible for our planet. 

Oh, and you know what else makes me hungry? Green tea, which I was supposed to have every morning. It literally makes my stomach feel hollow - anyone else?

Now that I've told you how awful it made me feel, I probably don't have to say that I won't be partaking in such a thing again. I la-la-LOVE smoothies and still have one most days, but 3 days in a row without solid food just doesn't do it for me. I would be curious to try it again with maybe 5 or 6 drinks a day to see if that would be doable, since I know juice cleanses typically offer 6 juices a day.

That all being said, I was surprised with the fact that I still had energy and could keep my job for those 3 days. My brain was a little flighty since it kept reverting back to my stomach (ohh, the hunger!) but work was doable.

So that's that! Have you ever or would you ever complete a juice or smoothie cleanse?


  1. I've done many a smoothie cleanse and love them! Not a juice one yet since it's so much more expensive. :) Loved this post.

    1. Right ON! I admire you. Cleanses of any sort are not for the weak (cough, myself).